Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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