She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize