so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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