That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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