We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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