You work out of a Hotel?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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