Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize