seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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