you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Randomize
