i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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