I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
