i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
