Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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