My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
