covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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