i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
