you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
