I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
