She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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