so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize