the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
