roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
