do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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