Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
