Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
