I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
