Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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