Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
