But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
