My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
