OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
