I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
