Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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