Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
