people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
