his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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