Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
