her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
