Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
