how can u be prego again
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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