Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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