i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
