one two three fourrrrnication!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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