It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
