it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
