there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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