Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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