You just made me feel so damn special
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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