What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
