i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
