Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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