He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
