We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish you could order shots online.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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