Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
