I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Mom said you looked used
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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