The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize