Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
