I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
