Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
