If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
