he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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