so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
