Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
